Grumpy Dwarf!!!

Well, I finally got school all figured out.

I thought, and considered, and pondered, and finally have decided to go with the X-Ray Tech program. I think that the 10 years of school for Nurse Anesthetist, while having a great payoff, is more than I can expect of myself at this point in my life

I talked with the head man at work and we hammered out my schedule, I luckily get to keep my job. While I never really thought that I would be let go, with the economy the way it is, the thought was always in the back of my mind.

I got school all figured out a few weeks ago. I registered over a month ago, but was unable to get to school to make the payment in time, and the classes were dropped. Of course, by the time that I realized this, one of the classes I enrolled in was full forcing me to do the mad rush to figure out a new schedule and get re-enrolled. I finally made the payment and am good to go. Actually, I think that the new schedule will work out to be better for me in the long run, so it looks like someone up there was lookin’ out!!

I ordered all of my books, and have received all but one of them. I am having trouble pinning that one down, I am not sure if it is in transit, or somewhere in the ignore pile. If worse comes to worse I will just have to buy it at school next week. I have also applied for a parking contract and expect that to be taken care of in the next day or so (my campus is in the medical center area; everything there is $5.00 an hour or better to park).

Since I have everything so in place, I could not figure out why I am so grumpy!!!!

Then I realized it is grade point envy!

I have not even sat in a classroom yet, and I am already starting to stress over the grades! I have high expectations for myself, but I think I have set my wife’s higher. I must admit that I have done plenty-o-trash talking about what a good student I am, and how I never had to study to get by. I guess now it is time prove it or pay the piper. I wonder how much that piper charges anyway…..

I do not remember if I told you that my wife is an x-ray technologist, In fact, my wife’s family owns the rights to be called the most x-ray tech family there is. My wife, brother-in-law, and his wife are all radiographers. I am sure I will go through the next 3 years of school with her telling me how to do everything, and telling me my instructors are idiots. Of course, she will also be there to remind me that I blew that test because I was too busy playing Xbox – right honey?

My grumpiness, I think, stems from the aforementioned issues, as well as some that I have not thought of yet. I guess my biggest problem is the self-doubt that I have. As I mentioned in my first post, my adult life has been one incomplete after another, and I always have that fear hanging in the back of my mind. I am blessed with a wonderful wife, and a great set of in-laws. Neither of them will stay “out of my business” nor will they let me give up. It is a great feeling to have that in my life. My mother-in-law always kids about how unwelcome she must be in my house, but in actuality, the exact opposite is true. While she is not perfect (sorry Linda), she is as good as gold to me. I never missed that feeling before, but I never had it in my first marriage. My parents will give me all the hell I can handle, but I tend to keep them removed from my day-to-day life for some reason, but that is to be addressed in another post.

As I move forward from here, I can only hope that everything will work out as I, no we, have planned it. I can honestly say I have the love and support of my significant other, and regardless of where life will lead me, I am positive that I always will. It is hard to explain how great it is to finally feel complete. She walked by and asked if I was writing bad things in my blog about her, and I can honestly say that I don’t have anything bad to write about her. I am not saying that we are perfect and float around like angels all day, we of course have our disagreements, but we do not take them to heart, and what is life with out a good debate every now and then. She has this knack of telling me how to cook when I am in a bad mood, and being the emotional midget that I am, I have difficulty separating one thing from another.

That is definitely something for me to work on.

I am still not 40, but today I can officially call my self a student.

Until our next encounter, tell someone that your sorry for something you did, mean it, then change it…otherwise it is an empty apology. I have mine to work on, now go and find yours!